Our son has always been willful. Up until 8th grade he always did his school work. In high school his grades went down and tardiness and absence went up . Sports stopped sleeping increased. His writing was not organized, nor his room or other belongings. We tried family therapy to better understand each other, math tutor to help with geometry, and chores, vacations to try to build understanding.
Jake dropped out of senior year, but got his diploma in adult ed. He was proud, we went to the graduation. It was a good day.
He lives in the house- meaning he showers, sometimes eats, sleeps here. We asked him to do 2 things in return. Empty kitchen waste basket, set dinner table . He does those chores 1 day after being reminded, and then nothing further even though it is dinner time, and trash fill can to top. This is maddening to my wife and I.
We would like him to either get a job, or go to a local jc which we will pay for. The spring semester starts in 3 days and he is not enrolled.
The practices of order, hierarchy , important things first, keeping your promise are not visible. Nor is guidance of any sort accepted.