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19 year old boy WILL NOT cooperate with parents for past 4 years, does it mean he CAN NOT?

Our son has always been willful. Up until 8th grade he always did his school work. In high school his grades went down and tardiness and absence went up . Sports stopped sleeping increased. His writing was not organized, nor his room or other belongings. We tried family therapy to better understand each other, math tutor to help with geometry, and chores, vacations to try to build understanding.

Jake dropped out of senior year, but got his diploma in adult ed. He was proud, we went to the graduation. It was a good day.

He lives in the house- meaning he showers,  sometimes eats, sleeps here. We asked him  to do 2 things in return.  Empty kitchen waste basket, set dinner table . He does those chores 1 day after being reminded, and then nothing further even though it is dinner time, and trash fill can to top. This is maddening to my wife and I.

We would like him to either get a job, or go to a local jc which we will pay for. The spring semester starts in 3 days and he is not enrolled.

The practices of order, hierarchy , important things first, keeping your promise are not visible. Nor is guidance of any sort accepted.




asked Jan 11, 2014 in Adolesent by Chris Broughton

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1 Answer

I this that there really isnt a whole lot of information here to go off of. One thing you might want to look at is what are you as parents doing? how is he getting things that he purchases? are you enabling him by giving him money? maybe he has no reason to go to college or get a job becuase your providing everything that he needs. Show him some tuff love tell him he needs to get a job so that he can move out. Kids now days are lazy and part of the problem is the parents. When I graduated high school I moved out for college, my parents didnt pay for a thing I think the most that they gave me was $800 to get me moved into my appartment, and once in awhile when they came down to visit they would take me to dinner and buy me groceries. I worked part time and went to school full time and paid for my housing and schooling by myself and with they help of financial aide. I'm not saying cut him off completly but you might whan to look at yourselfs as parents and see what you are doing that makes it easy for him to want to stick around. give him an altimatum tell him that if he doesnt want to go to college and let you pay for it then he needs to move out and find a job. I hope this helps..
answered Jan 12, 2014 by anonymous
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