I'm the oldest of five siblings (ages range from 69 to 56). When our parents, nearly 10 years ago, lost the capacity to take care of themselves, we agreed to work with them to get them into a very comfortable assisted living facility. Almost from the day of their loss of self-care capacity, all four of my siblings became hostile toward me with an intensity that shocked me--especially because I didn't understand why and none of them would or could articulate a reason. Though both parents have since died and the hostility has abated somewhat, it still crops up at the slightest of reasons. I don't want to die with resentments uppermost in my mind, but I can't seem to shake them because I don't understand the dynamics that led to the situation. Don't suggest a round table or any other kind of discussion because they won't even hear of it. Any insights as to why? Any suggestions as to how I can shake the resentments that I truly do not want to carry around? I've witnessed this same thing happening to other oldest children when a parent loses the capacity to hold the center.