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this is maybe my last sentence ever. i need you help with some advice - Psychology Questions

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if i were to die... my mom will be pretty sad at the begining, but soon will away to foreget, because she once said she should have left me when i was young in a house of children, my dad will day before he would have realized i m dead and my sister won t mind. i don t say this because this is the reason why i just wan to be gone, i say this because they say suicide is done only by selfish people. I know my familly and my boyfriend love me, but they don t support me when i need, they have this tallent only to drive me even more crazy..can t sleep, can t eat.. now i m in a very bad mood and i just want one thing.. to die. i feel useless. once i begged God to help me find my way, my only reason on Earth. it s been a long time and i still havent found it... i just feel sad.. i scream for help but nobody can help me.. i feel unhappy. i hardly have any friends, true friends, because i just havent found nobody suitable. i don t want to kill myself, but in the last period of time i feel i don t have any other choice. maybe if i beg God to take me.. he will

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